Goodbye, farewell and amen

Andrew Hicks

Let’s recap: I start this blog in September. In January, I pledge to post 365 entries in 2011. In February, I realize that goal is unsustainable. In April, I decide to discontinue this blog. This will be the final entry.

There will be no more Dad’s Daytime Diary because, in a matter of days, I will no longer be a daytime dad. We’re changing the guard — I’ll be the 50-hour-per-week bread earner, and my wife will stay at home with the kids. If she wants to start a blog called Mom’s Morning Missives, I’ll be sure to read every word.

Now, before anyone gets upset, let’s remind ourselves that no one reads this blog anyway. Sure, my babies’ grandparents check this site every day in search of new pictures. When I link these blog posts from Facebook, sometimes I get 75 or 100 hits a day. So you’re here, you’re reading right now, and obviously that means the first sentence of this paragraph is not true.

But here’s the deal — I have another blog I work on, I’m very proud of it, and it’s gaining serious comic momentum. It’s called We’re Not Funny, and it’s a comedy collective. I have a growing group of comedians and pseudo-academic smartasses who joke and write with me. I’m the gatekeeper, of course. I edit and post all the entries that go up. Ask my wife, and she’ll tell you I’m a passive-aggressive control freak.

I will not stop writing about my kids. Anything I used to post here, I can post at WNF. I will also post to WNF all the types of writing I posted here that didn’t necessarily fit the Dad’s Daytime Diary format, e.g. the obituary for Carlos O’Kelly’s, my stories of doing standup comedy and all other miscellany.

I’ve enjoyed my time spent working on this blog, and I’ve treasured the feedback I’ve gotten from its small but loyal core of readers. Follow me over to We’re Not Funny, or keep checking this site for links to all my newest writing. I will maintain the archive of posts, and I have plans to edit down and self-publish the past seven months’ worth of daddy writing. It’s been fun and, hey, it got me writing quality stuff again on the regular. Thanks for starting this journey with me.

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LAST BABY PICTURE OF THE DAY

Three posts in the hole

EDITOR’S NOTE: Andrew is going out tonight to celebrate the birthdays of a pair of married friends. Each was born the same day in the same year, and after a decade together, they are still very much in love. Which pleases Andrew, who is used to the bad publicity he hears about married people his age who can’t seem to love each other and stay together past the first few years.

In fact, Andrew’s own wife Tiffany was very loving in her decision to allow him to stay out as late as he wants tonight. Her husband doesn’t drink anymore, true, so he won’t spend a bunch of money or do anything embarrassing or drive anywhere drunk. But, sobriety or no, arriving home at 5:30 in the morning has repercussions that continue through the next day. This is why Married Sober Andrew doesn’t hardly ever stay out that late. Also, because his wife would hurt him if he did. She’s scary when she’s pissed.

The end result of all this is, on Monday — when Andrew returns to the blog he pledged to post daily to — he finds himself three posts in the hole. He’s working hard now to catch up to the present, and in the meantime, Andrew recommends you check out We’re Not Funny, the comedy website he writes and edits with many of the friends he partied with on Saturday night. The humor is of the adult variety, so be thee warned.