Archive for the 'Lion/lying puns' Category

Mommy’s little football

January 7, 2011

“The government could take away all the drugs in the world and people would spin around on their lawn until they fell down and saw God.”
-Dennis Miller

Sarah reminded me of that old Dennis Miller bit today. Tiffany just rearranged all the furniture in the kitchen/dining area, opening up all kinds of space, so now Sarah has a big square of linoleum where she can spin in circles.

Circle-spinning is a favorite activity of Sarah’s, and she especially likes it when I hold her hands and spin the both of us around. She just keeps excitedly saying, “Circles!” and giggling her little toddler butt off while we spin faster and faster, and eventually Daddy does see God. He’s that dude who’s telling me via sign language to stop spinning before I lose consciousness.

Tight centrifugal force isn’t the same when you’re 32 as when you’re 2. Your body loses tolerance somewhere along the line. And when you don’t drink anymore, it gets to be one hell of a rush.

I’m typing with Silas on my lap right now. He’s near the end of his day and is showing signs of losing consciousness his baby self. Little Guy’s wearing a sleeper with a cute little yellow lion on it. “I love you. I’m not lion,” says the cartoon lion on the sleeper. See, the lion says he’s not a lion but clearly is a lion, so he’s lying about not being lion. But the whole thing’s on a baby, so it’s cute.

Silas has another sleeper that says “Mommy’s Little Football” on it. The words “All Star” are underneath the word “Football,” but you can barely tell because it’s like dark gray print on medium gray. So I picture some poor baby who gets spiked, hiked and kicked by a mom who tells him, “At least you’re not an orphan.” But it’s a baby, so it’s cute.


Daddy and 8-month-old Sarah. I cropped out most of my double chin, but the nose hairs are running wild.