Seen Jamaica?

February 13, 2011

Andrew Hicks

I was shopping for groceries at Wal-Mart the other night around one in the morning, a time of the day which traditionally for me has been more prime-time than ungodly hour. I had to maneuver around a bunch of overnight shelf stockers in street clothes who were yelling over the aisles at their disembodied coworkers, but it was a quick, productive trip.

When my cart was sufficiently full, the only two lanes open were 10 Items or Less checkouts. I had 56 items in my cart. I became That Guy. You know who I’m talking about. When you’re just trying to dash in and out of the store and get a couple things, That Guy ends up in front of you with half a month’s shopping supplies, piling each purchase item into the square foot of space given to the express lane checker.

The checker was, I’d guess, in her late 70s. She was about halfway into the process of scanning my items when she looked to her right and realized there were eight people in line behind me, and none of them had more than six things to buy.

“Where’s Jamaica?” the elderly checker asked loudly. “I need Jamaica! Hey Susan, have you seen Jamaica?”
The other 10 Items or Less cashier replied that she had not seen Jamaica. Her line had like eight people in it, too.

At first, I figured Jamaica was the name of another checker who’d turned her light off and left her line unattended because it had been dead all night. Later, while loading the groceries into the car, I formulated a theory that visions of visiting or moving to Jamaica, the beautiful Caribbean island itself, might be the only thing keeping this lady going through this barrage of Wal-Mart checker graveyard shifts taking place in the twilight of her life.

Indeed, we all need to ask ourselves if we’ve seen Jamaica, or if we ever will. No, I’m not being serious right now.

Can anyone answer me this question, so I won’t look like an idiot to my 2 year old: What DOES the giraffe say?

One Response to “Seen Jamaica?”

  1. Karen Hicks Says:

    Where’s Jamaica is classic!

    Fun Fact: Giraffes can moo, hiss, roar and whistle. (Surely, the San Diego Zoo doesn’t lie about such things.)

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